The Move, The Phone and The Friend

Ever feel like your being crushed by the weight of everything? It starts out small but with passing time it begins to grow and the stress increases followed by possible annoyance and impatience for things that seem to go wrong. It never seems to be your fault you know? I mean it could be but you never admit it right away. At first you'll point the finger in any direction because it's a "great" injustice to you. How or why would you begin to slowly deconstruct that which makes a difference and matters to you? Is it an unconscious effort to find something you feel without? Or maybe you are bored with your regular day to day events and you want just a little change. Just enough to make some difference and drag you out of the boredom you've begun to feel. Recently I've had a couple of things to deal with that I really didn't expect and didn't want to happen. But hey you live and learn? (to that I'd just like to point out the small and clear fact that: Life is a BITCH. not always. but a good amount of the time. or is it just me that has to put up with more than the normal person? Anyway....) And the only reason i point out that sometimes although we try to blame it on things or even those around us when in reality it's our very own faults is because I've seen people who have done so and because of it they've pushed those closest to them away and then realize too late what they have done. I'm not pointing the finger at anyone really. If you want to get down to it I'd probably blame the environment right now. And I mean it more towards the economy. I'll explain in a bit but the list goes like this:

1. about the last week of march (round the time of my birthday) my birthgiver told me we have to move. simply: one parent working+one parent without a job+Rent=financial problem
2. I am now about to replace my phone ONCE AGAIN for the third time. same model... at least this time I ain't paying shit. They owe me.
3. A very close friend of mine had started to believe that I was secretly trying to break him up with his girlfriend and therefore started treating me like shit, telling me he didn't want to be friends anymore. really?

Now, even for me, who's had to deal with a lot of crap at once before and this would seem like a small list with controllable problems, these little obstacles aren't so "little". HOWEVER, I'm not going to allow the stress to get the best of me. I'm dealing with everything how I can. Trying to stay optimistic you know? When this gets dropped on you from nowhere it's what you have to do otherwise it'll affect you bad. I blame the economy by the way because starting with number 1 on the list it started because of how shitty and down the economy. And no I'm not using personification. I'm talking about the repression/depression this country has sunk to in the last few years. Yes you can blame Bush for that but actually he was just a figurehead. You ought to look more into that but for now lets blame him. I didn't like him much anyhow. (XD) So, because everything is down financially and all that obviously problems will arise. See we live in this house with these rooms where our beds are. The ones we sleep in you know? I'm kidding but yeah, the house we are renting is actually quite big. We have like 7 rooms. It'd be awesome if we owned it but we don't. Rent is something like $2000 a month. We were on a lease that came to an end a few months ago. While the lease was in effect we did not mess up on the rent once. But sometime around last year in like march or April my step dad lost his job. He was let go because business was slow and they needed to downsize. He was one of their best workers. He worked for Rhino Linings. Look it up. Anyway, because of that he had used any and I think all of the money he'd saved up in his account (which was a lot.) to help pay for the rent. My mom has been the only one working. Apart from my uncle and aunt living with us. (7 rooms remember?) But even with their help it hasn't been to good. Recently our landlord and his wife (mostly the wife) has been coming around asking about the rent. we tried talking to them calmly and civil about the problems we were having but of course we have to have an asshole of a landowner. My bad, a Bitch of a landowner. His wife has been the once annoying the fuck out of us. Me. My mom searched around in Corona to find another place to live but I guess she didn't find a suitable or cheap place so she called up my grandparents and voila! now we're moving to Arkansas....Yay.....*sigh*. I don't really like my grandparents and apart from that I have grown quite close to this little place. Corona is the place I've lived the longest in. We have moved a couple times before. This would be I think like the 12th time in what has been my lifespan so far. But the old folks that are my grandparents own so much damn land and they are helping us out for some reason. (maybe cause we're family) I've made it clear to my family that I'm not going to be there for long though. I like California. I am going to move back. When I'm 21 (two years away) I will be returning. I'm going with them because they asked me too and need my help with somethings. And don't get me wrong it's not that I don't like moving and all but I've grown close to the place and the people here. And it's just I would prefer not to move right now. if we stayed or something and then I saw the chance to go somewhere new with someone I cared for like a close friend or love interest or with the promise of advancement then yeah I would take it. It's just I don't want this just yet but it's happening. The upside is that I'll make new friends were I go and when I get a good job I can save up money and with time hopefully by myself a car. nothing too big right aways. Just enough to get me from point A to B without breaking down and working good.

Second thing. My phone. My provider is Metropcs, a.k.a Metropieceofshit, has good plans but shitty service. sometimes it's great sometimes it's not. The phone i have right now is the third of the same model that I've had because each one has had something wrong with it. First phone: wouldn't charge and keypad gave out. Second phone: Keypad gave out. Third(recent): it's only ten days old and screen gave out. They told me they'd replace it one more time but that if it happened again they would give me a new model. They better. I'm not paying for something that isn't my fault at all. I also use my phone to be contacted or contact people a lot so yeah i kinda need it and constant malfunctions are irritating.

Finally, My close friend who' mind seems to have a glitch. Accusations and insults were spat at me but with no evidence that I'd committed said acts or "the Crime". That and he begun to tell me he didn't want to be friends anymore because I'd betrayed him and gone back on my word. Yet again, no proof of anything. At first it hurt a lot because he is a close friend of mine. I didn't understand it. Still don't completely get how all this started in the first place. Like why he started to assume this and think i was doing those things. He was stubborn for a while there but yesterday we talked. Just me and him. We needed to do it that way. It had to be that way because he's not fully comfortable talking about what he's feeling in front of many people. I am one he does feel ok with. We talked stuff over and he admitted to a number of things. i pointed out how when he'd started acting the way he'd been acting he wasn't only pushing me away but his attitude was pushing away his girlfriend who is the one person he cares for most but at the time nobody understood what the hell he was doing. But things are better. I think and feel they are. i made sure he understood that I wasn't doing any of what he was saying or blaming me for and to keep it out of his mind. Out of respect for him and because it is something kinda important to me I will not go much into detail about what we actually said. In the end he's still my friend and things seem to have calmed down. Lets hope they remain that way.

For now that's all. I'll blog more later as for now: Hang out with friends. Fight a ninja. Become a pirate. Have an Adventure. Call in a bomb threat to a school. Offer kids candy if they get in your car with you. Stalk someone for the hell of it. Order pizza and give them your neighbors address. Entertain yourself. Be back soon.